Firefly

If all your insecurities blind you, you don't see I have my insecurities too.
I may walk, talk and smile confidently, as if I knew every tree in this forest but I'm scared. I'm lost.
You may think it's easier for me to find you than for you to find me, but that's because the opposite of you, I hide my insecurities, so you don't see them.
But I see them
And I see yours too. They disorientate me.
So I try to close my eyes.
But I only hear my heartbeats.
They are so loud sometimes I think you hear them too.
But if your heartbeats are just as loud as mine, maybe you can't hear mine, maybe you can only hear yours.
We don't hear each other.
But how could I hear you? How could you hear me? If we're both silent.
And we're way too far to hear each other's hearts.
"Unlike the singing cicadas, the silent fireflies burn themselves." says a japanese proverb. But how can I tell if you aren't just a fly, if it's still morning and even if you shine I can't see because of the sun still so bright?
What if I'm looking for a non-existent fire?
And I need fire.
I'm a night camper in the middle of a cold mysterious forest.
And I'm still traumatized from the past stones that promised me fire, but only gave me sparks.
I know it's still too soon, but I can't waste time. Sooner the day gets dark.
What if you're not a firefly, what if you're not fire? What if you're just sparks?