When it's 2AM, and the sound of the rain hitting the floor isn't the only sound you hear because the furious wind when knocks down bicycles and breaks tree branches, is louder, and you are outside because you lost your keys and the weather forecast stated a typhoon is on its way, and you feel like someone who just told you through the phone that he would hug you now if he could, meaning he can't because he's 3h54min from you (by walking because the trains are not running anymore) could be your savior, and not any of the people whom your voice could reach if you didn't waste it on eternal overestimated talks with them, who won't show up to open the fucking door for you, even though they are in a building 30 meters from where you stand, soaking wet, soaking wet from your body to your soul, soaking wet because inside also it's been raining unstoppably for longer than you can count, I feel like you are unfortunate.

But when two of the people you've been avoiding for three weeks now, simply because you think they can't help your pouring soul stop raining are the ones who come ironically with an umbrella each, 1 minute after you ask if someone is awake to open the front door because you are stupid and lost your stupid keys, in a group chat which messages you've been ignoring for a whole month because you don't feel like reading it, I feel like you are a ingrate bitch.

The hot shower won't be enough to warm an ice-cold soul and you know it.
Words won't fill the emptiness in your heart and you know it.

Have you ever asked yourself why the most unbalanced people are the shallowest ones?
Your overflowing emotions only show how not deep you are.

- I don't like young Japanese boys like you. - She says in a very monotone voice.

-Why? - He demands an answer.

- I prefer those about to become salary man.

-You mean more mature?

-Naah, it's not about maturity.
What I like about them it's how they hold on to me like I'm the last fun they'll ever have in their lives. I like how desperate they are to be reckless one last time. They know I won't stick for too long, so every kiss is like a goodbye kiss. And they think that soon they'll find a good Japanese wife to treat them with kindness and care, so I can be as adventurous and inconsequent and bad as I want to be because that's what they expect from me. They want a bitch. They are almost becoming strict followers of every rule ever made in this Japanese society and they mourn it. I like comforting them.

- More three years and I'll be perfect for you. But right now I still believe you are not my last chance of happiness. And I still think you are not as adventurous and inconsequent and bad as you claim.
I don't want a bitch. I want you.
I don't want to mourn and to be comforted by you. I want to celebrate that I found you.
I want you.

You asked me if I like you.
It's irrelevant to say that I could kiss you for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
It doesn't answer you even if I tell you that I could live in your hug.
It won't give you peace even if I tell you that I lost mine when you appeared.

You said you thought I didn't like you since I can never tell you I do.
And I told you I thought so too.
You said you like me, though.
I still couldn't say I like you.